Almost every morning I snuggle with my four year old. I think every morning when she caresses my arm for warmth and as she sinks further into my arms and lap what a treasured moment that is. I normally don't care if she or I get to school or work late. It's all about her and I sharing a moment together. Did I ever have a moment like that when I was younger? I almost have to constantly remind my self to write down those moments with her. I have two others and my memory already fails me of those treasured moments, those first times and those little creeped up smiles coming from the corner of my mouth. I hate, absolutely hate that I've forgotten what it was like to snuggle with my other two. Here, I try to, almost hold on to those bliss moments as much as I can.
Do other parents pain as much as I do every morning I send my four year old to school? Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to send her off to brave the cold, spend time with other borrowed people and kids and learn something? All things she could be doing with me? Why do we have to go through this rite with our children? Who said children had to leave their homes in such early ages to learn?
When, in my lifetime did I have the opportunity and just enjoy my children and my child without having to make them be part of these schedules?
I don't feel like other parents feel the way I do. I would much rather keep her home and let her enjoy her comfort level and her safety net. But, I can't. And so we sit, together, in silence. I hope something better for her. I pray for something better for her. In the meantime, treasure. Remember. Embrace.
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